The handshake is thought to have originated as a gesture of peace by demonstrating that no weapons were present in the hands. As illustrated in a 5th century BC depiction of two Greek soldiers shaking hands, this has been the standard for men who greet each other under most, or any, circumstance. In my earliest recollections of both my grandfathers, I remember every time I saw them they would greet me with a handshake, something that has been passed on to their sons and I've passed onto mine.
My father greets everyone with a handshake but also has this own way of qualifying his dynamic with the person whose hand he is shaking (my son and I are practitioners of this as well.)
Because a first impression can last a lifetime, the handshake is actually very important when meeting people for the first time. Generally it is considered inappropriate, if not an insult, to reject a handshake without good reason (a hand full of shit or snot qualifying as such.)
Personally, I consider it very poor style as the initiator or not to reject a handshake. I've had two instances where this has happened recently, both very awkward but revealing. While back in the day this could warrant a hot one in the knee cap, today I register these as ungentlemanly acts of ignorance, bad form and/or stupidity rendering the offender inert, and subsequently, unworthy of my time or attention.
Was their reason for not doing so, racial, socio-economic or do they simply have a problem shaking hands with a mutant? In the end of the day, their reasoning is unimportant, in my opinion, to be considered a gentleman requires one to achieve a higher standard of conduct. Funny how the simple gesture of a handshake can either put you on the road to achieve this worthy designation or derail your admission into this time honored fraternity.
I recently had the pleasure of hearing a colleague of mine describe our son meeting him and his friends for the first time. He was very impressed how he introduced himself, looked everyone in the eye and shook everyone's hand. Thank you for teaching our son how to greet everyone like a man. I was equally impressed seeing our 2 yr old godson shake our hand like a young man. So you see, it is never too early to instill this important quality in young men.
ReplyDeleteWe live in very strange times....it used to be impolite to wear a hat indoors, and ball caps were worn only on the field.
ReplyDeleteToday, the rules are often bent, like a man shaking hands with a woman...used to be unheard of, now it is common especially at work.
But the "old ways" still exist, unlike dressing up for airline travel....
To stand up when meeting someone, especially a woman, or the other ways, is about giving respect..a rarity these days.
To refuse to shake hands?
I think it is related to bad upbringing, and plain ignorance...as too many parents seem to teach slapping hands "high five" as being "cute", and never teach young kids to even say "Hello Mr./Ms./Mrs."
Kudos to you both for teaching this to your kids.
Yesterday afternoon, my 2 year old Godson put things in true prospective. As Mrs. Baya said, we walked into the room, our niece told to him to say hello and the hand was extended automatically, priceless. Gentlemanly conduct from someone who's still wearing pull-ups and most guys (I refuse to call them men) are clueless.
ReplyDeleteThat's my boy!!! I'm raising a gentleman and a scholar. Not only does he shake hands, but he counts to ten in English and Spanish. And as Titi knows, he certainly knows how to win the ladies over with the kisses he distributes plentifully. I'm really proud that he was acknowledged in this way on your blog. Thanks!
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